after watching some of his videos, i looked into Thích Nhất Hạnh a bit more. he preached mindfulness throughout his lessons, which i'm sure is something that buddhists do, but something i considered more western than asian. it turned out that he IS the father of mindfulness, and he introduced the idea to the west. even though i hadn't heard of him prior to last night, his teachings have changed my life. i used to suffer from debilitating OCD, but learning to be mindful saved me. i've recovered now, and like any other person, my intrusive thoughts just come, maybe stay a bit, and go. the difference between life back then and now is like night and day. and it started with one man's ideas. it's just so amazing to me that one person, and his one idea can alter your life so intensely.

i'm still not mentally where i want to be, and i don't know if i ever will be. but i'd rather be closer to my goal than where i am right now. i want to learn how to process my emotions in a healthy way, learn to love life, and just feel okay. i want to build discipline, enough to at least get out of bed in the mornings, and be a better person to others. i know this journey will be a long one, but i'd rather take the long route than never try it at all.

taking a break from studying to work on my website a bit... i've redone this page maybe five times now and i'm still not entirely happy with it. i want everything to match and look nice together, but i'd also like to incorporate my personality into each page, too. oh well, i'm publishing it anyway, and i'll change it along the way ~~

this is less of a personal journal post, and more of a post for me to lay out my thoughts and plans for the site ^^;;
i currently have the following pages in mind:

• art page: drawings, sewing projects, clay/ceramics, crochet
• media page: music, shows, anime, or books that i enjoy
• skate page: for my skateboard progress...? unlikely but i like the idea
• collections page: calico critters, figures, etc.
• links page: buttons, resources, etc !!

and to reiterate, i'm pretty much just using this corner, like many others, to document the parts of my life that make it my own ♡ i'm also pretty boring so sorry if i ever come off that way hhahh

on another note, i'm really happy about the community here on neocities. i was originally planning to use this website just as a means of self expression, and i didn't consider the social aspect much ^^;; but i really appreciate it now! even though my site has so little right now, i've interacted with so many kind people already. if any of you guys are reading this, thank you. i appreciate every comment that's been left on my profile (..◜ᴗ◝..)